Defenitions and the fears of a cross-dresser's spouse

**I feel like this second post should give the definitions of the terms I frequently use and should start to discuss my fears that center around being the spouse of a cross-dresser.**

  Many people do not know the difference between someone who cross-dresses, someone who is transsexual, and someone who has a gender identity disorder. I think it may be best at this point to list these definitions. (These definitions can be found on the Human Rights Campaign website, http://www.hrc.org.)

Cross-dresser "A cross-dresser wears the clothing and/or accouterments, such as makeup and accessories, that are considered by society to correspond to the "opposite sex." Unlike transsexuals, cross-dressers typically do not seek to change their physical characteristics and/or manner of expression permanently or desire to live full-time as the opposite gender. (Cross-dressers are sometimes called "transvestites," but that term is considered pejorative.)"

Transsexual "A transsexual person has changed, or is in the process of changing, his or her physical and/or legal sex to conform to his or her internal sense of gender identity. The term can also be used to describe people who, without undergoing medical treatment, identify and live their lives full-time as a member of the gender opposite their birth sex. Transsexuals transitioning from male to female are often referred to as "MTFs." Similarly, female-to-male transsexuals are frequently called "FTMs."

Gender identity disorder / Gender dysphoria "GID is a psychological diagnosis recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. This disorder is marked by severe distress and discomfort caused by the conflict between one's gender identity and one's designated sex at birth. Not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria or are diagnosed with GID."

Transgender "A broad range of people who experience and/or express their gender differently from what most people expect — either in terms of expressing a gender that does not match the sex listed on their original birth certificate (i.e., designated sex at birth), or physically changing their sex. It is an umbrella term that includes people who are transsexual, cross-dressers or otherwise gender non-conforming. Not all people who consider themselves (or who may be considered by others as) transgender will undergo a gender transition."

  Due to the fact that many people may not know the above definitions they do not understand that someone who cross-dresses is not necessarily a transsexual or affected with GID. While our society has grown in its understanding of the definition of being a gay individual it still seems to look upon anyone who is transgendered with fear and disgust. Many men who cross dress still hide who they are and what they do for fear of being harassed, abused, and in some cases, losing their jobs.

**(I know that we as a society still have a very long way to go in acceptance of gay individuals and their rights. I am referring in this post to the changes that have occurred since 1973 when homosexuality was removed from the list of mental disorders by the American Psychiatric Association. At this time the medical community was not allowed to treat homosexuality as a disease and this lead to changes in the social definition as well.)**

  As the spouse of a cross-dresser I have many fears for Elvis, for our girls, and for myself. Our family's happiness and safety is of course our greatest priority and many of my fears are linked directly to those two things. Here is a list of what my fears are, in no particular order, as they relate to Elvis's cross-dressing.

-Being shunned by friends
-Elvis being mocked by friends and/or co-workers
-Loss of Elvis's job (cross-dressing is still a cause for discharge from the military)
-Enid and Estrid being teased by classmates/friends
-Elvis deciding that he wants to live as Elvira
-Elvis no longer being physically attracted to me
-Elvis ending our marriage because I am not understanding enough
-Elvis ending out marriage because I am not supportive enough
-Elvis ending our marriage because I am not able to talk with him about Evita
-Enid and Estrid not accepting this part of their father
-Losing my sexual attraction towards Elvis
-That expressing my feelings will hurt Elvis
-That I will never be accepting enough
-That I will push Elvis away because I cannot deal with my feelings on this issue
-That I will resent Evita and in turn Elvis because she is a part of him

  I think that is all for tonight blogosphere, my heart and head are hurting after writing this post. Time for a glass of wine and some silly sitcoms. :)